i quit.

No matter what we want of life we have to give up something in order to get it —Raymond Holliwel

i clicked the bookmarked site several times today. on my desktop. on my other desktop. on my iphone. on my ipad. and then i deleted it. clicked the ‘x’ on the phone and ipad, dragged and watched the bookmark disappear in cartoon smoke on the desktop. goodbye temptation. the deactivation process is painful. ‘she will miss you, he will miss you, if you leave, they will miss you’.

seriously?

they won’t. they may notice you’re not popping up as much in the newsfeed, you haven’t shared pictures in a while, but their life will continue, their compulsion to click will continue.

detox will be difficult. i know it will because the habit has become so extreme that it no longer requires thought. i still have other outlets. there are still ridiculous time-wasting blogs i frequent. there is instagram. that’s something.

but they’ll miss me, right?

i can’t argue with the ease that comes with communicating via social media. it’s easy to invite, to share, to stock. it’s also easy to shame, to wallow and to compete. ugh. no thanks.

it became a time-suck of valuable moments that i need. constructive creativity is better to me that regurgitated quotations. i can still seek out the sites that inspire me. it will take more effort. but if i’m not willing to put it forth, perhaps i’m not ready to reap the offerings either.

it got to the point where i was posting less and less anyway. the important pictures that really mean something, i’ll most likely still post here and certainly on instagram. i can text. i can email. i can blog.

i am at the outer edge of the facebook generation. i still faintly remember a time when it was not the primary source of connection. simpler times. less public drama. it was harder to become upset by things that have absolutely nothing to do with me and are completely out of my control. with the ease of the click, it’s not so hard to turn away and go about my business. it is easy to become involved, whether i type about it of just emote about it. i no longer have the heart or head space for it. i will miss the good things. the tabs that could be kept on those who have drifted away and will always hold space in my memories. the illusion of friendships that were once real and with reason and morphed into key strokes and like counts.

i crave a good mood. i crave focus. i crave genuine connection. i crave creativity rather than collective sharing. i’ll have to go searching for it, i understand that so today…i quit.

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